Frustration

Lately I’ve found myself becoming more and more agitated and frustrated by seemingly minor events. It’s getting to the point where I’m getting fed up of life at the moment. Not to a suicidal point, but just to the line where I wonder what the point of most things is.

For example, earlier, I was on Fallout 3. I can usually play the game with no major hassles, but when I died earlier, I got very, very angry, despite it being my own fault. Another example would be when my girlfriend Megan doesn’t text back. She is her own person, and I respect that, but it can be infuriating when she doesn’t…I don’t know why though. I will admit one thing however, I don’t think she knows that certain things, minor things, that she does, tears me to pieces inside :\
I just wish I knew what I thought properly. I know she cares, but sometimes it just seems as if she really didn’t, and didn’t even want to give me the time of day anymore…Contrary to how things used to be.

I really need to vent my frustration and feelings into something. I suspect if I don’t I’ll probably end up hurting myself, or worse, someone else. Joe is getting to be very annoying lately, so perhaps he will receive the brunt of my anger. I certainly hope this isn’t the case. At any rate, I really need to sort myself out.

In another ironic twist I’m becoming more fickle. I rarely find any form of interest in activities I once loved doing whilst I was younger. I used to love watching South Park. I still do, but now it seems like more of a chore than anything else. Mercenaries 2: World in Flames is another example. This is a game I used to be able to play for several hours without tiring of it, just once…Now, I can’t stand to play the game for more than 10 minutes without getting bored. Also, drawing, that seems more boring than it used to be. Oddly Google Sketch-up too. After the initial success of my Jeep/Land-Rover in the programme, I can’t think of anything else to create that would a.) Challenge me mentally, and b.) allow me to see my effort and work go well.

I suppose, I need a new hobby, or something to do where I can see the progress of my work…I just don’t know what to do to sort myself out.